“Did you just answer your phone?” Well those were six words I never anticipated ever having to say, whilst standing at a hotel urinal.

For those of us old enough to remember the days before we were “connected” to everyone and everything via a smart phone, if you were “otherwise occupied” and the phone rang, you simply missed the call.  Then you either checked your answering machine (remember those?), or when I was a little kid, said out loud “I wonder who that was?”

These days however it seems regardless of what is going on, answering the phone has become a priority that for some, takes precedence over anything else they are doing. Hence the bathroom experience, old mate (and pardon my graphic detail), literally stopped mid-stream to answer his phone. What the….?!

Now it could be argued that he was waiting for an emergency call, and sure I get that, God knows I didn’t bother to ask “So who was on the phone?” I simply made a mental note that even if the zombie apocalypse started that very night, in that very bar, I wouldn’t be asking to borrow his phone!

It did get me thinking however, there are certain times when I don’t want you to answer my call.

So here’s my top five “You don’t need to answer my call if…” list

1. 1. You are going to the toilet. Seriously, I’ve covered this…please just don’t.
   2. You are in the process of making a purchase. It’s rude to the attendant and more importantly, I don’t want to “hang on a minute” and then listen to the feature set of you new 70” TV.
   3. You haven’t finished having a conversation in person, i.e. you answer my call and before you say “Hello” you continue on finishing a sentence. Just finish the sentence and then answer or let me leave a message.
   4. You are just getting in or out of the shower or are in any state of undress and feel compelled to share that information with me… if you happen to be naked when I call, just don’t answer or at the very least don’t tell me; sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.
   5. You and your significant other are in the middle of a disagreement and you need a way out to regroup and strategize, I’m not the UN.

Now it’s important to understand this is my list… and you don’t have to agree with all or any of it. You can create your own list and then since we live in a connected world, send it to all and sundry via social media for all the world to know….and if you do happen to write it while sitting on the toilet, naked just don’t overshare!