(Best Ever Computer Tech not an Ordinary Nerd)


It’s been a while since I updated my blog, I had some problems with the Russians. It seems that Svetlana was not a girlfriend but a hooker, and they expected me to pay for her, even though I only sent her a message in Facebook. I was told if I didn’t pay them 1000 Rubles, they would take me to the Siberian acid mines and make me work off the payment. I had no wish to work, let alone in a Russian mine, which I hear does not have the best working conditions. So I have spent the last 12 months hiding in my apartment, ordering in pizza and doughnuts and telling work I was working from home. It actually worked out quite well and I had a great time, but as I have now watched every movie that was ever made, it is time to venture out again. I hope the Russian’s have forgotten about me. It was a master stroke that I put a picture of Hugh Jackman on my Facebook profile, which will have thrown them off. I wonder if he is now working in the acid mine now.


For my first day back in the office I planned to be tough, I was in conflict with the Russian Mafia after all. I could start the Becton Mafia, where I would be the boss and could order whackings and start extortion schemes. I like the sound of that, mafia bosses have no problem getting girls, so wouldn’t even need online dating anymore. I shall start working on my evil plans after the star Trek movie marathon tonight.


I went into the office via the backdoor, even though it has been 12 months since I was last there, I couldn’t face the rabid receptionist. The IT department looked mostly the same, just a bit tidier than I remember. I went to my desk and there was someone sitting there eating doughnuts, so I told him to move. “Why would I do that” he asked, “it’s my desk”. “Well we shall see about that” I said and went to the boss’s office. There was a woman sitting in the bosses chair, I had no idea who the boss was since Jerry left, so I presumed this was his wife. I walked in and said “Hi, you must be the boss’s wife” She looked up and didn’t look too happy “No, I am the boss” she said sternly “now who are you?” Whoa, a woman boss, how’s that going to work I thought. I told her who I was and that I had been doing a year of intensive study. “And what did you study?” she asked. Time for some quick thinking Becton, “Er, Oraclesoft, Appletron, Unixis and Microburger” I said. She sighed and told me to take the desk next to the water cooler.


So I when and sat down at my new desk. The start of my empire I thought, having a woman in charge will be a disaster, and Becton thrives on chaos. As it was already 10:00 I decided on an early lunch, I needed sustenance so I could plan my next move. I was a Mafia boss now and had to act accordingly.


Next time

The long computer