(Best Ever Computer Tech not an Ordinary Nerd)


My first day in the new job was pretty tiring plus I stayed up all night watching Buffy, the only option in these circumstances is to call in sick, I’m sure they will understand. This will give me until lunchtime to sleep and an afternoon to carry on with my secret project.


This project is so secret that I have not given it a name, I don’t even call it project X, simply project (blank space). If I even get interrogated and given that drug that makes you tell the truth I won’t give anything away. Damm I’m so smart, that sometimes I think I must be from another planet of super smart people.


Anyway project (blank space) has reached a crucial phase, I can’t go into details as it is so secret. But I plan to work with the Hawaiians, I read on a website once about their history and how they have tried since 1492 to get independence from the USA. History tells us that once Chris Columbus had reached America, he thought he had discovered a new country. He thought he could claim it for himself and make a fortune selling chips to the rest of the world, as no one else had potatoes back then. However he soon found that there were already people living in America, so he wasn’t the first to discover it, so couldn’t claim ‘finders keepers’ rights. This made Chris quite depressed, so he asked the locals for a recommendation of somewhere to go for a holiday. Several suggested Hawaii, none of them had actually been there but they all said they had heard it was nice.


So Chris headed off to Hawaii for a couple of weeks on the beach, after a few days Chris’s ‘how can I make a buck’ mind started kicking in. He figured that if Hawaii also used US dollars then it would become a much more attractive holiday destination. So on the Friday night he planted a stars and stripes flag on the beach in Maui and put up a sign saying “unless anyone protests, Hawaii will become part of the United states in three days, that was plenty of notice so no one could complain. Chris knew it was a long weekend so the local people would be partying until Tuesday morning, and by then it was too late, Hawaii had become one of the united states. The locals were furious but there was nothing they could do. Chris then opened Columbus travel and we all know what happened after that.


So I have written a letter to the major of Maui to see if he is interested in doing some business. I am hoping to get a free trip over there and some hula hoops. I even had a backup plan if the Hawaiians are not interested, I think I just impressed myself again! Ok after all that strenuous thinking I will need a rest, maybe I will call in sick again tomorrow.

Next time: someone takes Becton’s Snickers