Becton (Best Ever Computer Tech not an Ordinary Nerd)


It was 9 O clock in the morning and I had just arrived at work, this was weird, I had never got to work this early before, something must be wrong with me, or else my watch was running slow. But I had no time for such trivial matter, Becton was now a real boss of real people, and had some bossing around to do. My desk was still piled high with computer parts, I hadn’t got my long computer yet, I guess it must be on order, so I sat down and looked around the office, there was only the young one there and he was talking on the phone. I guess the others were all out working, no one to boss around, but I must be doing a good job as everyone was working.


As I was looking around the office, a door I hadn’t seen before opened, and out came a little guy, and inside I saw another room that was full of smoke. Maybe if was a fire drill I thought, the little guy came over to me and said his name was David Chew and he was one of the BDMs, he invited me into the smoky room to meet the others, and offered me a cigarette. I remember I saw a black and while movie once about busting dams, the aircraft crew were told to stay healthy by smoking a lot of cigarettes. But Becton isn’t into healthy things, so I said no.


David introduced me to the other two guys who I could now see though the haze. “This is Jack” as he pointed to a big guy with no hair, who looked like a bouncer, he just glared at me. “And this is Bill” who was an older guy, and he looked scared. No wonder being in a room with scary jack I thought. “We are the BDR team” David said, I wondered want BDR meant. “Adam has told us all about you” said David. “He’s good that Adam” I replied, I wondered if I was the boss of these guys as well. So I said Hi, and that I was busy and would see them later, well except for the scary guy, I don’t think he liked me.


As soon as I stepped into the main office another door opened. This place was amazing there must be hidden doors everywhere. A girl came out and said “Hi, I Suzie Ling, I Adam PA”. I could hardly understand her, and had no idea what PA meant, this was becoming very confusing. This room was quite small, sitting in the back was a weird looking guy, with one eye bigger that the other, and one arm bigger than the other. “I’m Paul he said, but everyone calls be Igor, I quite like the name, I’m the lead getter”. So he must be the guy that gets the cables I thought.


Just then Adam came into the office. “Hi Becton, how are you getting on?” “Great” I said. “Hey I have to go to the Dog Biscuit for a few days, you are in charge while I am away” he said. “What’s the Dog Biscuit” I asked. “ It’s my tanning salon” he said “It should have been called the dark bronze, but those idiots at the business registration office got the name wrong, they said it was what I asked for, so now I am stuck with the name. But the salon is great, we have the most powerful UV sunbeds in the country, no one has the time to lie on a beach all day any more, they want a tan fast, I plan to open 400 of salons across the country. All the other tanning salons are owned by idiots who have no idea what they are doing. So I am going to take the market over” I often go to the market to buy apples, I wondered if Adam was going to be selling apples as well, maybe they would be tanned apples, I sure Adam knows what he was doing.


Suzie came out “here you fly ticket Mr Adam” as she handed him the tickets. “Excellent work” he said, while I’m away can you write an article about me, I want to send it to all the newspapers so they can run a story about me”. “OK Mr Adam, I do it 100%” Suzie replied. Adam must be so popular I thought, getting into the newspapers, he must be a celebrity, maybe I should ask him for an autograph. I heard they can be sold for big money on eBay. Adam dashed away, so I went back to my chair and had a little sleep, it had been a busy morning. I woke up hungry enough to eat a horse, well a chocolate horse at least. I wondered if the café around the corner had chocolate horses. It didn’t, so I had to make do with a large box of chips and three ice creams instead.


Back at the office all the techs were back, and they were all sitting about complaining about things. They stared at me when I came in, I don’t think they liked me. “Get working minions” I said, that will get them moving. It didn’t, so I went back to my chair. The phone rang so the little one answered it, after a few seconds, the little one told the caller he was very busy at the moment, they will have to call back later, and he may be able to help them then. So, me telling them to get working had worked, as he was too busy to help the caller. I must be a natural boss, as this was easy, the next time the phone rang no one answered it, dam I was good, now everyone was working away, which must be a good thing.


After a half an hour rest, I started to become curious about the amazing system that Adam had put in place for the tech team. This was highly unusual as such thoughts can lead to thinking, and I didn’t like having to think, but the curiosity got the better of me, so I asked the little one what the system was. “The phone rings, whoever is nearest answers it, and fixes the problem” he replied. That’s brilliant I thought, I had heard that simple is best, and this was so simple I didn’t have to think much to understand it, no wonder we are doing so well.


Suddenly there was an enormous loud noise, there was a massive gong by the wall which I hadn’t noticed before. The windows shook and everyone covered their ears, the sound lasted for ages. Bill the BDM had hit the gong with a giant hammer. “So you have made a sale Bill” the big tech asked. “Yes said Bill, finally, it’s only a mouse and keyboard, but it should lead to more, now I can eat tonight”. The young one told me that when the sales guys make a sale they bang the gong, it was Adam’s idea, so everyone knows how well we are doing, but he had never known Old Bill to bang the gong before. Maybe the young one liked me after all I thought. I am going to like it here, not many people liked Becton, and I could never figure out why.


I needed to go home early as it had been an exceptionally busy day for me. I picked up three fried chickens when I got off the bus, as I needed to do some serious TV watching to wind down, and I can’t watch TV without food. Then it suddenly hit me, BDM means sales guy, why would they be called BDMs I thought, it must be some sort of code. But that’s enough thinking for one day.


Next time Becton handles a complaint