Becton’s new job

Sunday February 19, 2017

Becton

(Best Ever Computer Tech not an Ordinary Nerd)

 

I don’t like starting a new job, there are too many unknowns that take time and effort to become knowns, and effort isn’t something I like expend much of.

I was comfortable in my last job. But I had to make a quick exit, however that’s another story.

 

The new boss introduces me to the team.  I have never understood why they say team, these people are my arch rivals to compete against in the battle of who is the smartest, there will be no teamwork. I get given a desk next to Adam, he’s a real pretty boy, no competition here. I have a theory that intelligence is inversely proportional to good looks, I’m sure this can even be proved mathematically. However there are exceptions to this rule, yours truly for instance, and if I ever get a girlfriend she I am sure she will also be one of these rare exceptions.

 

Adam would be a pushover, so I lean across an tell him I have an IQ of 210, that will give me the psychological advantage. He laughs and says “yeah right” but I know he is scared. I didn’t actually finish the IQ test, I had answered some of the questions, but it was nearly lunchtime and the mobile kebab van had just pulled up. My official score was 105, but I figured I had  taken about half the test, so it was only logical that I should double the score.

 

I knew I had to make an impressions on my first day but I didn’t want to do too much, otherwise they would always expect me to save the day with my brilliance. I get given a job to re-index the CRM database, what on earth does that mean! I am sure it is nothing of any importance, and it’s almost lunch time so I just mark the job as complete, then head off to get my standard Monday lunch of 4 cheeseburgers and an extra large milkshake. On returning to nerd central, there is a lot of activity, the CRM had crashed and the boss in panicking. I quickly go back to the job ticket I had earlier and change the ‘completed by’ name to Adam, then pretend I am busy, while I just spend time looking up this evenings TV guide. There’s a rerun of Buffy the vampire slayer, excellent.

 

The computer department quietens down, so I guess the problem has been resolved. Adam gets called into the bosses office, silly boy, he should have paid more attention when I told him my IQ score. I didn’t get to make an impression but at least I avoided taking the blame for causing a major problem, I’m sure it was nothing to do with me anyway, and there is always tomorrow to show everyone what an IT guru I am.

 

Becton will be back next week, watch this space (or a space close by)

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Craig Boyle

MSP Blueshift supports a range of different businesses who depend on their technology to deliver goods and services to their clients. From architects to retail chains, we’re passionate about streamlining IT systems and processes to move business forward.

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